What should a respectable widow wear?

By the late 19th century, mourning behaviour in England had developed into a complex set of rules, particularly among the upper classes. For women, the customs involved wearing heavy, concealing, black clothing, and the use of heavy veils of black crêpe. The entire ensemble was colloquially known as "widow's weeds" (from the Old English waed, meaning "garment").

The growing wealth of the eighteenth century aristocracy set the trend for the flamboyant expression of loss and grief with masses of black bombazine silk, ostrich feathers and bows.

But older and poorer women choose a much simpler, more practical styles and with the growth of the urban middle class, particularly in Britain the demand for dull, black, mourning wools, black and white silk crepe increased as incomes and social expectations rose.

Black however was not the only acceptable colour for grief. In the portrait below we see a woman holding a portrait of her dead husband wearing white with a black lace collar and bonnet. Mauve was also an acceptable colour. 

The wearing of mourning clothes was more of a social necessity for women than men. Whilst men might wear a special suit of sombre clothing for the actual funeral they were rarely expected to wear special clothes or colours unlike women who were expected to show the world their change in status for at least a year and a day.

Of course many women wanted show respect to their dead husbands and continued to wear sombre colours for the rest of their lives. Indeed Charlotte Leadam the heroine of my first novel Sinclair is a young widow and faces this very problem.  As she waits for her husband's creditors to present their accounts, she is, "wearing her new mourning clothes; a respectable but uncomplicated widow's cap and a full length black cloak both in black bombazine silk. The silk was not shiny like taffeta but had a sombre, matte finish that seemed to drain the colour from her face making her look even more wan and tired than she actually was."

"Wearing black crepe was the only acceptable thing to do for a woman in her position and she would have to wear it in public for a minimum period of one year and one day. After that she could choose wear subdued colours such as browns and greys, purples, lilacs, lavenders, and even white."

"But today was the first time that she had appeared in her widow's clothes in public and by this act she was acknowledging that her life had changed forever. It was a sign to the world that she was respecting her husband’s memory but it also told anyone who was interested that she was irreparably damaged, that she was half spent or half dead inside and that she was lonely and vulnerable. To wear anything else would indicate that she was a heartless harlot but she hated the loathsome colour; it reminded her of her loss and it told the world that she was alone.”

In a world where a woman became her husband’s property on marriage and where a middle class widow could not enter the professions to support herself signalling this change in marital status could have its advantages showing men that they were available for marriage again.

Julia Herdman’s debut novel Sinclair will be available later this year.

Julia Herdman’s debut novel Sinclair will be available later this year.